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Lately, I’ve been working on something that’s had a big impact on how I show up in life and work. It’s simple yet incredibly powerful: shifting from what you don’t want to what you do.

We all do it. Something upsetting or stressful happens, and before we know it, our thoughts spiral into worst-case scenarios. It’s a natural response, especially when we care deeply. But what happens next makes all the difference.

A Personal Moment That Triggered the Shift

Recently, something happened to my son at school. I won’t go into all the details, but it involved another child and a situation that left my son upset—and me, as a parent, feeling angry, protective, and fearful.

My thoughts immediately ran wild: What if he’s not safe? What if this leads to bullying? What if school becomes miserable for him? And in just a few moments, I’d built an entire narrative of what I didn’t want.

But then I caught myself. I’ve been practising a new approach lately—acknowledging the worry, yes, but not living there. Instead, I shifted my focus. I asked: What do I want for him?

I want him to feel safe. I want him to thrive. I want him to enjoy school, be confident, and feel supported.

And suddenly, I could see a clearer path. Who I needed to speak to, what I could do. That shift from fear to vision was so empowering.

Don’t Stay in the Negative

This is the key: it’s okay to feel the worry. It’s okay to acknowledge what’s not working. But don’t stay there too long. Let that be your signal to ask the better question: What would I like instead?

I’ve noticed this show up in my work, too. I’m currently organising a big event—the Teacher Art Summit—and at one point, I started to spiral again: What if it’s not good enough? What if it all falls apart? What if it’s a waste of everyone’s time?

I caught myself. I shifted. I reminded myself why I’m doing this. I started thinking about how I want the event to feel, what I want people to walk away with, and how I can bring that vision to life.

That one shift changed everything.

Redirecting Your Inner Compass

This mindset shift is like adjusting a compass. When something feels off, ask:

  • What don’t I want?
  • What’s the opposite of that?
  • How can I focus on making that happen?

You might not have all the answers. That’s okay. But it’s a more powerful question to live in than “How do I avoid disaster?”

Awareness Is Everything

So much of this comes down to self-awareness. Notice your thoughts. Pause. Name what’s happening. Then redirect.

Ask: What do I want to happen instead? Then hold your attention there. Even if it feels uncertain, that shift opens you up to new ideas, possibilities, and solutions.

A Daily Practice That Changes Everything

This isn’t a one-time thing. I’m practising this every day. Whether it’s parenting, planning, or showing up for my creative work—catching those negative spirals and gently redirecting them has been game-changing.

It’s helping me stay connected to the life and work I want to build. It’s keeping me out of panic mode and in a space of purpose and creativity.

Next time you feel overwhelmed, ask yourself:

  • What don’t I want?
  • What’s the opposite?
  • How do I start leaning towards that?

It’s such a simple tool but it really can shift how you feel, how you act, and what you create.

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Have a great week & take care,

Michelle xo